For The Heart I Once Had
by Little Jammes
Summary: EragonMurtagh EragonOC MurtaghOC RoranOC plus others. Eragon, now King, find himself locked in a tangle of love affairs, his own the and those of his lover, daughter, cousin, and wife. can only be described as a tragic soap opera. Please read and review!


Lotte- I'm sorry, I just make things worse with you and her. I love you.oh, and I'm sorry, I could't resist using the phrase from the book. yeah, and I realized that all I did was steal Tarja and Kamell's names, because they are nothing like the originals. please don't kill me.

Thanks to everyone who is giving this rather long one shot a try. Its E/M, please no one yell at me for that, if you don't like slash, don't read it.

* * *

"You tempt me." Murtagh groaned as Eragon's lips traveled down his neck, nipping at the pale skin, leaving marks of their journey.

"Are you saying you do not want me?" Eragon spoke against his collar bone, before pressing his lips against Murtagh's, causing the elder to moan.

"You tease me with this here?" Instinctively he thrust his hips up to meet Eragon's, who straddled him on the chair in the King's library.

"I would be teasing if I did not plan to fulfill your desire." Eragon grinned, his face still youthful, despite the years that have passed since he learned of his fate.

"You do not have the time, your highness, to waste on pleasing a mere member of your court." Eragon shook his head playfully, running his hands down to the fork of Murtagh's legs. The simple gesture on Eragon's part ended the last bit of protest from his brother.

"I do not waste my time," he began to pull the belt from Murtagh's pants. "I do what is necessary, for my subjects, and for myself." He grinned, the kind that melted Murtagh's heart. "And as your king, you shall obey me, and give into my every will."

"I would obey you even if you were still a poor farmer." He pressed his lips to Eragon's to prove his love.

"Father?" The call was muted by the door of the library, but it rang in the men's ears.

"Never have children Tag," Eragon pressed his forehead against his, "They only interrupt the great moments." He gave him one last kiss. "Till the next time."

Both men returned to their proper states when the young woman the voice belonged to entered. Eragon sat conveniently behind a writing desk, and Murtagh in the arm chair with a book covering his lap.

"Forgive my intrusion father, uncle." She bowed to the man in the corner, her face turning a shade of pink.

"What is the purpose of this call, Kamell?" She snapped her gaze back to her father, flustered for a moment.

"Oh… The elf ambassador has arrived, on behalf of the prince." Bitterness hung on the word, "She is waiting for you in the west study."

"Thank you." She bowed, and hurried out of the room, only after stealing a glance of her father's brother.

Eragon sat in his chair, folding his hands before his face in thought.

"My daughter," He sighed, turning to face Murtagh. "I have been given a foolish daughter. She falls for a man with a heart already taken." As he spoke he approached the other, "She inherits that from her mother, but her taste, that is from me." He leaned down to capture the most familiar set of lips "I will call upon you tonight brother, I expect to find your bed only occupying one."

"And I expect your bed to remain cold. How does your wife get on without your presence?"

"She has her own affairs, you know this, some one who shares her same fate of heart."

"And he has not given you a son?"

"No, my wife will only bare mine, just one foolish girl."

"A beautiful girl, she takes after you more than you think."

"A did not think it possible to be jealous of my daughter, but you always amaze me."

"When you love a man you love all of him, including the parts of him you find in his offspring."

* * *

Kamell sat at her vanity, scolding herself. 

"He is older than your father!" She told herself, twisting the fabric of her dress in her lap. "He is your relative, and you are betrothed, or have you forgotten? To that young elf prince, remember? It will please no one if you hold a silly fantasy about the untouchable. Get him out of your head."

"Get who out of your head?" A woman stood at the entrance way of her chambers, regal and beautiful, lines beginning to detail her face.

"No one of importance mother."

"You cannot lie to me, Kamell. Come, speak with me." She almost glided over to the low sofa across from the vanity, motioning for Kamell to do the same.

"you do not want to marry the elf prince?"

"I want to honour my father as is my duty."

"Do not talk of duty, speak to me not as your mother, or queen, but as a woman, just as Tarja." Kamell sighed, looking up into the eyes she shared.

"No, I do not." She could no longer keep herself from baring her heart, such a little question tore at her already raging mind. "he is little more than a boy! No mother, I love another man."

"Who, my child?"

"One I know I can never love, one that sickens me that I do, but I cannot stop myself from loving him. To not love him is to not breath! My heart has doomed itself, but it does not matter. Just to see his eyes once is enough for a lifetime."

"Who is this man who has claimed your heart? He must be a great man."

"A man of the court." She hung her head, her thoughts would surely shame her mother.

"The King's brother." the queen answered simply.

Horror filled kamell. How had she known?

"You need not feel embarrassed or shameful my dear. I have known of your feelings for so long, by how your eyes light up when you see him, a trait from your father." Tarja laid her hand against Kamell's cheek, caressing it slightly. "it is the duty of a woman to obey her heart, otherwise she grows cold and bitter, but, it is also her duty to bring honour to her name, for her father."

"How can a single woman do both? It is impossible."

"That, my dear, is the greatest battle of them all. Men show their strength with swords, waging wars on the fields, but woman, our battles occur within our own hearts. Do not be fooled, our battle leaves more scars."

"How can that be?"

"If a man fails on the battle field, he loses his life, but returns to his wife and town a fallen hero, if a woman loses, she must live with the consequences the rest of her life."

Kamell felt tears form beneath her eyes, the screaming in her mind only worsened with her mother's words. They were wise words, she knew, but they only showed the heart break that was to come.

"I have faith in you, child, you have a strong head, and a warm heart, you will do what you must, and feel no shame for it." Kamell rose her gaze to lock it with Tarja's.

"Yes mother."

Tarja kissed her daughter, and bid her goodnight, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

* * *

The Queen nodded to the guard as she left the royal chamber, pulling her nightgown closer to keep out the draft of the hall. It was no secret when the king was not in his bed, neither was his queen. They each had their affairs, although with whom on the king's side was unknown. 

Tarja's journey was not far, to the east set of guest quarters, the very first door. She did not knock, but instead simply slipped into the dark room. The bed laid quietly with one occupant, the sheets slowly rising and falling. Stepping out of her house slippers, she climbed into the bed. The blankets warmed her chilled skin. The man was hot to her touch as she ran her delicate hand over his broad shoulders and rested her head on his chest.

"I did not think you would make your appearance tonight." His voice was hoarse and groggy from being woken. "My cousin is a fool to send you away."

Tarja sighed, thinking of where her husband truly was. Very few knew where her husband found his pleasure, she was one of the few not sparred from that information.

"My husband is a great king, that is all I can ask of him."

* * *

Eragon laid still, panting as hard as the man on top of him, both bodies naked and slick with sweat. They simply laid for a long time, as their breath, and heart beats returned to their normal pace. Murtagh rolled off of him once he gained the energy, drawing the younger man into his arms when he laid beside him. 

Silence hung between them, an unusual silence.

"You were not thinking of me." Eragon's voice was low, a soft whisper in Murtagh's ears.

He only remained silent.

"Tell me who's face did you see? Who brought you that unfamiliar smile?"

Murtagh turned his head away, his face twisted in unseen pain.

"Who was it?" Every inch of him wanted to know, and every inch wished for only ignorance.

He could not bring himself to answer. He was only able to sigh. Murtagh could do nothing to hurt Eragon, he loved him with every fiber of his worthless being, Eragon was all he cared about, the only reason he really had to live, so the pain in his head tore at him, ripping to the point of screaming.

"I will always love you, Eragon." He leaned forward to kiss his brother tenderly, proving his words, before rising from the bed. He collected his clothes, and exited, the faint glimmer of tears in his eyes.

All Eragon could do was lay his back across the bed, and sigh. No king showed the weakness of crying, even when he was alone.

* * *

Kamell tucked her feet under her body in an attempt to warm them. The castle was always chilled at night, she knew, even with a fire going in the study. A book laid open in from of her, the flickering reading light just beginning to irritate her eyes. It was not the need to write that brought her from the warmth of her bed, but the need to get away from her thoughts. She did not hear to the door of the room open, or see the shadow enter, but his smell caught her attention immediately. 

Murtagh.

She attempted to hide the book that drew away her attention before, but he already saw it, and cocked a brow at it.

"Father does not permit me to read books of romance, he says they spoil the soul with false hopes." she explained, blushing heavily.

"Your father cares for your well being ."

"My father cares for me the way farmer's care for their pig. Raise it and feed it right so it will be sold at a high price, or so it will produce a generous amount of piglets." She spat, looking away from him to gaze into the fire.

"That is not true."

"Do not lie to me, Murtagh, I am no fool." She shocked herself with her words. Never in her life had she called this man anything beyond uncle. " I know my father holds little over for me, I am not a son, and I am a constant reminder of his cold marriage."

She played with the book in her lap, knowing she should keep her lips still, but unable to.

"Why call your parents' marriage cold? They are civil, and even passionate at moments."

"My father's heart lies elsewhere." Her eyes shifted to him, burning with the intensity of knowledge. It frightened Murtagh, and yet excited him. "He loves you, do not attempt to lie to me, I know it is true."

"Yes, it is." He sighed, and sat down beside her, letting his gaze hit the floor.

"You do love him back?" Silence hung between them, Kamell knew the answer, but hoped, for once, she was wrong.

"Yes."

She knew the answer before it passed his lips, she reminded herself, but she still felt her heart shatter, even with the marriage looming over her. In the darkest, most private part of her soul, she clung to the idea of loving him, and having him lover her in return. That last hope died with the simple word.

Tears escaped her eyes, betraying her, she tried to hide them from him, but his eyes were too keen, turning did no good.

"It upsets you this terribly?" He placed his hand under her chin, bringing her gaze back to him. "Is it that I am his brother, or is it the act of locking itself?" His voice crackled, pain presenting itself. He could not stand the thought of her hating him, or being disgusted by her.

"No, it has nothing to do with that, it is that you are _my_ uncle." His heart stopped, he was sure, seeing her look up at him, her soul laying open in her glossy eyes.

Nothing passed through his mind as he brought his lips to hers, only the taste of her, the feel of kissing him back.

For as long as she had been a woman, he felt a draw to her. He would curse himself when he looked at her, thinking of how as a child she would play with him, and now, as an adult, he felt nothing innocent for her. It was not the same feeling as Eragon, he knew, nothing could be like his Eragon, but it was enough to drive him insane, past any point of self control.

He positioned himself above her to deepen their kiss.

This cannot be real, she thoughts, as his hand slide down her nightgown, this is only one last dream before her marriage she was sure. The last thing she wanted was to wake up from the fantasy she found herself in, no matter how dishonouring it became.

* * *

Kamell married the elf prince, as was expected of her, becoming their strange, human queen. Her marriage was purely political. On her wedding night the young queen requested her own chambers, her younger king hesitantly obliged. 

The following spring word finally returned to Eragon of Kamell's first born son, a dark haired boy lacking all elfish qualities.

* * *

"Eragon, speak to me." Tarja laid her hand on his bare shoulders, attempting to get her husband to speak to her. For four days since receiving the news, he spoke nothing more that was required for his duties. 

He rolled over in their bed to look at his wife, his silence eating away at his soul, tormenting almost as much as the cause for it.

"Foolish girl." He laid his forehead against her, sharing the first intimate moment in a very long time. "Why hasn't the elf prince sent her back to us? She was ruined when he married her, he has every right to. What a foolish girl."

"Perhaps the young king loves her, despite it."

"No, my Tarja, that is not possible. The young king is arrogant, and selfish, he is too young to understand how to love someone, Unconditionally."

"That is the kind of man you sold your only child to." Tarja commented, her voice neutral but her words speaking her mind. "What a trait to learn, unconditional love, it does not seem to find residence in this castle."

Eragon sighed, and ran his hand down Tarja's arm.

"I am far from perfect, despite was this kingdom believes," he brought his lips forward to take her lips gently, caressing them tenderly, "but I know how to love unconditionally, but the throne takes its tole on showing my love."

They were interrupted with a tap on the door, two guards hurrying in, terror in their eyes.

"Your Highness" The taller of the two bowed, "Your presence it required immediately."

"What is the matter?" As he spoke Eragon practically jumped out of the bed, covering himself with his robe. The guards exchanged looks, neither wished to speak of the news.

"Murder my lord, within the castle walls." The other spoke, his voice quivering.

Eragon's blood ran cold, but he dared not ask anymore, he would find out soon enough.

* * *

The scene that Eragon looked upon when they reached his destination brought tears. 

There was no controlling them, he did not care if the whole kingdom saw them stream down his face.

Murtagh.

His brother, his companion, his love, laid on the marble floor, surrounded by a pool of crimson, a pool that still seemed to be growing. He sank beside the body, seeming Murtagh's eyes open, a twisted sneer on his face.

I'm sorry Eragon heard Murtagh's voice, but his lips made no attempt to move, but I saw your face, with her. The voice faded at the last word, leaving Eragon's mind alone in silence.

Murtagh? Murtagh his frantic thoughts were only returned with a cry of anguish belonging to Saphira.

Thorn.

No, this can't be. His vision was blurred with his tears. No please.

The sound of a throat clearing stole him away from his pain. Before him stood the new elf king, a menacing look in his face, and a bloody sword in his hand.

"Surely the great king does not cry for a criminal? This man has committed a most serious crime, deflowering my property." He snapped his fingers, causing two elf guards to enter, dragging a struggling woman, Kamell.

"I cannot except this damaged good," As he spoke, the guards pushed her to the floor, while another brought in an infant child, kinder than the woman. "Elven law states that no child shall be punished for the crimes of their parent, so this child I return to its own kind. While this whore," He glared daggers at Kamell, "Is banished hence forth from all elven lands, the most severe punishment for her sex." The elf sheathed his sword, feeling pity for the king.

"Did you know of her condition when you presented her to me?"

"No. I discovered it when news of the child just reached my ears."

"Yes, that is what I believed. Wicked woman." The elf turned, and walked towards the door. " I apologized for the blood split so late at night, in your halls, but justice must be served." with that he exited, all the elf guards following.

Eragon was powerless. The elvish kingdom was their greatest ally, going to war with them was suicide, even if that seemed not to matter, the death of thousands of loves for others was something he would not do.

Why? Why would you leave me? Why was I not good enough for you to stay? It was true he was powerful, but he still could not raise a man from the dead.

He will not return, Saphira voice filled his head, it ached with the same sorrow, a single blade stole your love, and mine.

Eragon looked up to see Kamell sobbing, holding her bastard child. Raged filled his body.

It was her fault, he told himself, she was the reason for all of this. She always ruined things.

"Go away Kamell!" His voice could not control his anger, it was laced with venom.

"Father-"

"Get out of my castle, get out of my kingdom! You are banished." The guards hurried to the young woman they watched grow up, and lifted her from the ground, as she clutched to child and moaned in agony.

"Bring me the child."

"Why would you want him father? Please, he is all I have."

"When you love a man, Kamell, you love him completely, including the parts of him found in his offspring. I will not banish Murtagh's child."

"I am your daughter!" Her voice pierced the hearts of all that could hear, but none of the guards dared to disobey the king. Eragon remained silent as the took the child from her, and dragged her to the door. " The rule of Galbatorix has returned! Cruel and heartless!" Her scream caused Eragon to laugh.

"Perhaps now you will understand how tragedy freezes the heart."

"What has happened to my father?"

"His heart lay dead before you. Take her away."


End file.
